Sofia von Death to Machines

WHY DONT I HAVE ANY BRAS THAT FIT!?

WHY IS THIS ONE ITCHY?

WHY IS IT A WEEK UNTIL MY DUE DATE?

I QUIT.

Me: I put together a baby swing and it fell on my ankle.
B: Aww. You're special. I'm pretty sure you put it together wrong if it just fell over....
Me: I did so! I just couldn't get the leg to snap in.
B: *begins detailed explanation of how we need to convert the stupid battery powered thing to AC because 'Those motherfuckers chew through batteries. We went through 4 a week.' and any nerd that can use a soldering iron needs to get their ass over here and do this for me*

I need to go to Old Navy just to buy some goddamn Zotz.

That was like the best part of working ON. Chase and I buying a string of Zotz when we worked the fitting room.

That VICE piece about Warped is probably the greatest and most hilarious thing I’ve stumbled across in awhile.

“That was a good one. Ha. I cracked myself up.”
— I’m surrounded by dorks.

"No matter what anybody says, passion never lies"

(Source: topismyseoulmate, via usabigbang)